Appealing Ideas #6: A Unified Theory of Everything part 1.
I don't mean to try to unravel string theory here, or get to the bottom of wormholes. I have a cousin who, although he doesn't yet know it, is a philophysiosophist, and a daughter who bodes fair to be the first human on Mars (recently, at any rate). Not that I'm a mathematical idiot, I hope; I believe I'm the originator of Katie's Law, which states:
x-1 = y
when x = the number of appliances need to watch a film, DVD etc, and y = the number of remote controls available at that particular moment. Try it. There is always, but always, one less than necessary.
Of course, this piece of genius is equal if not superior to Pythagoras' theorem in it's day-to day applicability. Working out the hypotenuse of a right-angled triangle is all very well and good in it's way, and in the 5th century B.C., before the invention of the surfboard or music without dying cats, probably anything was a welcome distraction. However, I think Katie's Law is a tad more relevant in the early 21st century.
For instance, you (or indeed I) come in after a hard day or whatever, you/I/we flop down on the couch, glance at the table and instantly take in x-1=y. If we want to watch Highlander/play D&D or download some decent porn (each to his/her/its own) we will be forced to crawl around under sofa cushions and coffee tables until we find y+1. Or we can just crash out. Think about it my friends - the truth is out there!
x-1 = y
when x = the number of appliances need to watch a film, DVD etc, and y = the number of remote controls available at that particular moment. Try it. There is always, but always, one less than necessary.
Of course, this piece of genius is equal if not superior to Pythagoras' theorem in it's day-to day applicability. Working out the hypotenuse of a right-angled triangle is all very well and good in it's way, and in the 5th century B.C., before the invention of the surfboard or music without dying cats, probably anything was a welcome distraction. However, I think Katie's Law is a tad more relevant in the early 21st century.
For instance, you (or indeed I) come in after a hard day or whatever, you/I/we flop down on the couch, glance at the table and instantly take in x-1=y. If we want to watch Highlander/play D&D or download some decent porn (each to his/her/its own) we will be forced to crawl around under sofa cushions and coffee tables until we find y+1. Or we can just crash out. Think about it my friends - the truth is out there!
posted by holojojo at 2:14 PM
5 Comments:
A piece of string is as long as you cut it, and last week's pizza reappears under the coffee table because it takes that long for your cat to eat your hash, get the munchies, eat said pizza, and regurgitate it.
In that case, this unidentified remote must be yours.......
Hi ninestones,
My cat grows his own hash, and we have a gentlemammal's agreement; I don't smoke his weed and he doesn't crap in my boots.
I worked out an exchange idea for the remotes; please send mine to Fra Josephus, c/o the Vatican, I'll have yours forwarded to Captain James T. Kirk at Fortnum and Masons.
May munchies never visit when the shops are closed,
holojojo
I was never communicated in the first place, my parents were either anarcho-atheists or just plain lazy.
I shop at Asda out of solidarity with the plebs, also because thier aubergines are 52p per kilo cheaper than Waitrose.
I do however get struck by lightning when I enter churches and cathedrals.
holojoo
Appealing Ideas #6: A Unified Theory of Everything part 1.
In September Katie wrote... Katie's Law y+1=x... remotes in the cushions!! lol I can relate!!!
I looked you up... Was wondering if you are doing OK. I was previously impressed by your gift of the written word(fanstory). I wish you and your little girl well.
Delhini
Hey, that's really sweet:) Actually I went into hospital for another op and got MRSA (for free!). I didn't die, clearly, but the cure was almost worse than the illness itself. Medication took away almost everything but the ability to think from one pill to another, and I ended up for 2 years on vile stuff meant for short-term pain.
Looking back, especially re-reading old stuff like this, I see that part of me did die. The part that could stand outside life and write about it, I suppose; luckily the part that was a mum kept on working, maybe that's something too basic to die.
My little girl is 9 next month. It's been hard on her - she's been a "carer" all her life - but she's doen well at a good school, and I'm very, very proud of her. She wrote a poem recently, the first that went beyond "Roses are red"; it was heartbreaking, Delhini, but so precious too.
You'll never know how happy this comment has made me - that someone remembered us is unbelievable and wonderful and just so encouraging. Once,I must have touched another soul; you give me hope that I can do it again.
Thank you Delhini
holojojo (Kate)
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