Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Appealing Ideas #6: A Unified Theory of Everything part 1.

I don't mean to try to unravel string theory here, or get to the bottom of wormholes. I have a cousin who, although he doesn't yet know it, is a philophysiosophist, and a daughter who bodes fair to be the first human on Mars (recently, at any rate). Not that I'm a mathematical idiot, I hope; I believe I'm the originator of Katie's Law, which states:

x-1 = y

when x = the number of appliances need to watch a film, DVD etc, and y = the number of remote controls available at that particular moment. Try it. There is always, but always, one less than necessary.

Of course, this piece of genius is equal if not superior to Pythagoras' theorem in it's day-to day applicability. Working out the hypotenuse of a right-angled triangle is all very well and good in it's way, and in the 5th century B.C., before the invention of the surfboard or music without dying cats, probably anything was a welcome distraction. However, I think Katie's Law is a tad more relevant in the early 21st century.

For instance, you (or indeed I) come in after a hard day or whatever, you/I/we flop down on the couch, glance at the table and instantly take in x-1=y. If we want to watch Highlander/play D&D or download some decent porn (each to his/her/its own) we will be forced to crawl around under sofa cushions and coffee tables until we find y+1. Or we can just crash out. Think about it my friends - the truth is out there!